I Spent 5 Years Outside the Walls of Church: Here’s What I Learned

The Holy Spirit took me on a journey several years back, spending time with Him – in worship and growth – outside the walls of any specific building or space. What I learned in that experience was nothing short of invaluable. The truth is, I wouldn’t be who I am today in my calling or my walk without that very intentional season and it led me to straight to this message that has been sitting on my heart ever since. So, I invite you, today, to go on a walk of reflection with me and, as you do, pray over these words and see if the Holy Spirit speaks to you through them. If we are willing to lay down our offense, you never know what He may heal, reveal, or set on fire… in you!

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For clarity’s sake, I am simply using the term “walls” to distinguish which part of the church I’m talking about. Church, after all, is not defined by a place, but by a Person, or rather, all His people.

In other words, we are ALL the church, friend. Whether we attend a “church” or worship Him from our homes, coffee shop, or the jungles of South America, we are ALL the church.

So, when I say those inside the walls vs. outside, it’s simply to clarify if I mean the church that worships every Sunday in a building together or the church that worships in other spaces and places. No bias or negative connotation intended.

Okay, now that I’ve shared that, here’s the meat and the reason I’m here. I’ve written below several things that I learned in this journey. And although not all of these are easy-to-swallow truths, I think that on the other side of our offense might just be a really incredible spiritual breakthrough that can open our eyes and our hearts to reach across the aisle and embrace one another just a little bit more.

But before we dive too deep, please catch this important truth: I do not assume (and am not implying) that all people fall into one of these two buckets. In other words, I DO NOT assume that if you are “inside” you are automatically this way and “outside” you are automatically that way. Or, that every person “inside” will fit the “inside” box of strengths and weaknesses, and visa versa. You get my point. This written piece is more of a generalization and umbrella, not meant to be person-specific or call anyone out. However, I think if you allow yourself to sit with these thoughts, you just may discover something in here that God can work through to heal and/or inspire something in you.

So, let’s start here:

1. The church inside the walls needs the church outside the walls, but often not in the way it thinks.

The church inside the walls can learn so much from the church outside the walls. These lovers of God’s heart outside the walls are complete radicals. They don’t fear the opinions of others. Judgement about their walk typically goes in one ear and out the other as they boldly embrace what the Holy Spirit says about them and nothing more. My ladies outside the walls run with Jesus, unapologetically, in their own wild, beautiful, courageous, and feral way. And whew, that’s pure fire!

But if that wasn’t enough, let me give you another reason: Their lack of religious expectations gives them one major strength – The ability to go out and love on the world in a way that feels very genuine and lacking ulterior motive. These sisters can embrace the girl that doesn’t fit the mold because they see her as created just the way God intended and enough exactly who she is, right now. They don’t go in with any expectations and they don’t leave adding any weight. I call it being a Jesus hippy, of sorts. They know how to carry grace – and love like Jesus – and it’s a gift that creates lasting, eternal impact. Bottom line: We could all use a little more of that! Am I right?

So sister, if you’re inside the walls, I know it’s easy to think that *they* need to be where you are, in an established community where iron can sharpen iron. And you’re not altogether wrong about the benefits of such community and space. But sometimes, God may surprise you and call you to be where they are, instead. Because if you’re willing to ask the Holy Spirit for His lenses… Sometimes worship in the coffee shop carries a fire that you may never experience anywhere else. Bottom line: Always have the heart of a student and be willing to learn from the Holy Spirt in all spaces, regardless of how “unconventional” or “outside the box” they feel in the moment.

2. The church outside the walls needs the church inside the walls, too. These sisters inside the walls know how to build community among one another and bump shields. They know how to carry each other, in heart and in prayer. They know how to show up, friend, time and time again. Whether it be with meals or just their presence, these ladies know how to pick a sister up and carry her through any season, rain or sunshine. Bottom line: These ladies do life together and that’s just powerful. We all need community. Nobody was made to carry their gifts alone.

But that’s not all these women do. Women inside the walls create space to get together and challenge one another in beautiful, Godly ways. They read, study, pray, discuss, debate, encourage, and inspire.

One match may burn hot, friend, but when several matches are brought together, the entire room is engulfed with flames – and I want to be in a room like that!

They call down the Heavens when they stand side by side. Their worship lifts and shakes walls down. Together, they are an unstoppable Kingdom force. They stand side-by-side and demand the enemy retreats. They claim their victory together. They march together. And they dance together. This is the beauty of community. This is the beauty of a space that brings Kingdom daughters into One heart, One spirit, and One mind.

Now, sister, if you’re outside the walls, I know it’s often so hard to see any of what I described in your previous experiences with the church inside. I know that you have faced judgement for your unapologetically radical walk. I know you feel like everyone in that space wants to shrink you back into the box or mold. But hear me out: You just haven’t found the right community, yet. And they aren’t all created the same.

That said, hear what I’m saying and what I’m not saying: I am absolutely NOT suggesting you have to join a “church”. But I am saying don’t put all women that do fit “inside” the walls into a box either, because you just may miss out on a fellow sister’s radical fire, gifts, and calling that you need in your life, as well.

#3. Revival is coming. Revival is here. And if we can link arms instead of drawing lines, I can only imagine what God will do with us and through us. If you are willing to lay down your offense, judgement, hurt, and/or resentment and submit your heart to the One who calls you both His, you just may find that there is a tremendous amount of power in finding and embracing our similarities instead of dissecting our differences and calling them insurmountable.

And one more thing, friend: When you bridge the gap, you create a new road on the map and others will follow. Your willingness to break tradition and reach out, grabbing the hand of a sister that may not worship just like you, but loves Jesus all the same, and run with her – will have a ripple effect that will tear down the walls between us and bring His Army of Daughters together. Our roar will grow louder. Our hearts will grow stronger. And we will be better for it because we have one another.

God’s army includes both. It’s time we do the same.

So, if you’re inside the walls, sister, try this:

 Be careful to not assume that everyone outside the walls is outside the will of God. Sometimes, they are exactly where God is calling them to be. Ask me how I know.

 And if this is hard, ask the Holy Spirit to help you shift your perspective and teach you something through them. Be open and really listen with your whole spirit.

 Find ways to connect with women outside the walls so that iron can sharpen iron and you can begin to tear down the walls between the two of you. Don’t go in with a pre-conceived judgement or mindset. Don’t go in with a motive to convince anyone that we all belong in a specific type of space or pew. Go in with one thing in mind: Finding God’s heart together, wherever that takes you. What you discover just may rattle your theology and blow your mind!!

And if you’re outside the walls, sister, try this:

 Be careful to not assume that everyone inside the walls is the same. Sometimes we carry experiences over and allow them to create a sort-of dirty windshield effect, where we no longer see anyone without the residue clouding our vision. Catch that thought and …

 Submit it to God. Pray over your heart and your spirit. Pray for God to walk you into a relationship with powerhouse women of faith who are part of the “inside the walls” church so that you can have a healing experience with them that breaks through your set-in-stone perspective and allows you to begin to uproot the pain and resentment that you have carried for so long. Pray to begin to see how together, you are an unstoppable Kingdom force.

 Be intentional. When God opens doors for you to connect with women “inside” the walls, pray to SEE the gold in them. Pray to be touched by their gifts. Pray to be inspired and to learn and grow. Be intentional with your heart and let down your veil so that their cup may overflow in just the way God designed in that space – and yours will do the same. Then link shields and run after God’s heart, together!

Friend, God’s army is divided right now. But God doesn’t look at His daughters the way we look at one another. So, it’s time that we stop building walls and begin to build up one other instead.

Don’t let a bad experience draw the line in the sand.

Be the girl that builds a bridge.

Be the girl that leans in when the Holy Spirit says love them.

Be the girl after His heart, not anyone else’s opinion or permission.

Be the girl… set on fire and lighting another sister’s candle…

…even if she walks out her calling a little different than you!